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Red Skelton's Pledge of Allegiance
The elder amongst us will remember the famous Pledge of Allegiance by comedian Red Skeleton. Here's a site with that pledge written, complete with appropriate artwork and emphasis.
Web Post HERE
15 Spectacular tricks to teach your body.......
1.) If you've got an itch in your throat, scratch your ear.
When the nerves in the ear get stimulated, they create a reflex in the throat that causes a muscle spasm, which cures the itch.
2.) Having trouble hearing someone at a party or on the phone? Use your right ear…it's better at picking up rapid speech. But, the left is better at picking up music tones.
3.) If you need to relieve yourself BADLY, but you're not anywhere near a bathroom, fantasize about RELATIONS. That preoccupies your brain and distracts it.
4.) Next time the doctor's going to give you an injection, COUGH as the needle is going in. The cough raises the level of pressure in your spinal canal, which limits the pain sensation as it tries to travel to your brain.
5.) Clear a stuffed nose or relieve sinus pressure by pushing your tongue against the roof of your mouth…then pressing a finger between your eyebrows. Repeat that for 20 seconds…it causes the vomer bone to rock, which loosens your congestion and clears you up.
6.) If you ate a big meal and you're feeling full as you go to sleep, lay on your left side. That'll keep you from suffering from acid reflux…it keeps your stomach lower than your esophagus, which will help keep stomach acid from sliding up your throat.
7.) You can stop a toothache by rubbing ice on the back of your hand, on the webbed area between your thumb and index finger. The nerve pathways there stimulate a part of the brain that blocks pain signals from your mouth.
8.) If you get all messed up on liquor, and the room starts spinning, put your hand on something stable. The reason: Alcohol dilutes the blood in the part of your ear called the cupula, which regulates balance. Putting your hand on something stable gives your brain another reference point, which will help make the world stop spinning.
9.) Stop a nose bleed by putting some cotton on your upper gums…right behind the small dent below your nose…and press against it hard. Most of the bleeding comes from the cartilage wall that divides the nose, so pressing there helps get it to stop.
10.) Nervous? Slow your heart rate down by blowing on your thumb. The vagus nerve controls your heart rate, and you can calm it down by breathing.
11.) Need to breathe underwater for a while??? Instead of taking a huge breath, HYPERVENTILATE before you go under, by taking a bunch of short breaths. That'll trick your brain into thinking it has more oxygen, and buy you about 10 extra seconds.
12.) You can prevent BRAIN FREEZE by pressing your tongue flat against the roof of your mouth, covering as much surface area as possible. Brain freeze happens because the nerves in the roof of your mouth get extremely cold, so your brain thinks your whole body is cold. It compensates by overheating…which causes your head to hurt. By warming up the roof of your mouth, you'll chill your brain and feel better.
13.) If your hand falls asleep, rock your head from side to side. That'll wake your hand or arm up in less than a minute. Your hand falls asleep because of the nerves in your neck compressing…so loosening your neck is the cure. If your foot falls asleep, that's governed by nerves lower in the body, so you need to stand up and walk around.
14.) Finally, this one's totally USELESS, but a nice trick. Have someone stick their arm out to the side, straight, palm down. Press down on his wrist with two fingers. He'll resist, and his arm will stay horizontal. Then, have him put his foot on a surface that's half an inch off the ground, like a stack of magazines, and do the trick again. Because his spine position is thrown off, his arm will fall right to his side, no matter how much he tries to resist.
15.) Got the hiccups? Press thumb and second finger over your eyebrows until the hiccups are over - usually shortly.
The Gardens of Spring 07 Tempt and Tease
April of 2007 was a horrible month. In the entire month, up until the day of the pics below, there had been not one single sunny day. Sure, the April month is notorious for wild weather, including rain, snow and in the year of our Lord 2007, one spectacular Noreaster that spanned over four days.
The gray bleak began to wear on my last gardening nerve.
Finally a sunny day showed up and I was surprised. Of course I have a head cold that won't quit but still I work the gardens.
Roses tempt and wave thorny vines. Azaleas allow magenta blooms to peek through. The Wigelia raises its limbs to the sky and promises pretty pink bloom to come. The daffodils already bloomed and these were a blessing during the endless gray. A few tulips raise their bright red blooms as acknowledgement that no mind the gray, it is STILL spring.
So the leaves are raked and the gardens tidied. The sun has finally returned to Serendipity Shore and even as the mucous in my head swirls around with each movement, I feel the warmth of the spring sun and my gardener soul comes alive.
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